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Top 7 Wedding Tips
It’s “engagement season” which means that all people are mandated to propose some time before Christmas and New Year or they’ll have to wait until Columbus Day. So here are 7 foolproof tips to plan...
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The Sex Checkback
You’re going about your day. It’s a normal day and you’re doing what you normally do. You’re sitting in your cubicle, closing out the Candy Crush window when anyone walks by. You’re crying over donuts...
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The Number One Thing A Woman Needs
In life, as well as in a relationship, it’s all about context. For example, the number one thing a woman needs while camping is a can opener. On a cold morning, she might need a hairdryer that plugs...
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How To Be A “Sexy Mom”
I used to love the word MILF. It felt like a badge of honor, one worth carrying on a (sometimes one-woman) campaign to get other moms to see as a compliment. The reasoning was sound– if we are...
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Self-Hatred Kills More People Than Guns
In the wake of the latest dystopian nightmare-turned-reality, we wonder yet again what causes someone to pick up an assault rifle and mow down innocent people. Yes, access to assault weapons makes the...
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The Rise Of The Lady-Girl- As Written By One
Much has been said about the “Man-Child,” yet it is unfair to presume that being unusually immature for one’s years is a phenomenon restricted to adult men. In fact there is another breed of lady (who...
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How To Make A Woman Cum
1. Do her laundry. Distracting thoughts can be a factor in women’s sexuality more than men’s. The mechanism that allows people to “compartmentalize” can be missing from women, though there are...
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40 Things I Learned About Sex At Forty
1. Sex gets SO much better even if you enjoyed it plenty as a dumb teenager. HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE? 2. Masturbation is a benevolent G-d’s greatest gift to humanity. How much more proof of...
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The Myth Of “You’re Worth It”
I was at Trader Joe’s and somewhat uncharacteristically bought myself a dozen roses. In the course of the magical spin around the market, I encountered not one but two other women buying themselves...
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The Ten Hottest Malibu Moms – Part Deux
In honor of Mothers’ Day, here is my pick for this year’s list, perhaps one day to be as iconic as Mr. Blackwell’s Best Dressed, without the old white guy who’s dead part. The Pacific Ocean may breed a...
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The Power Of Negative Thinking
I have finally decided to cultivate a more Soviet attitude. This is quite a reversal, despite and because of the fact that I was born in the former Soviet Union and raised by Russians. If you’ve ever...
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You Don’t Have To Love Yourself (But You Do Have To Masturbate)
Like many things that seem like a good idea at the time, the self-esteem movement has officially reached its expiration date. The idea that you need to love yourself before you can love somebody else...
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America’s Daddy Is An Abuser But It’s Okay Because Life Is An 80’s Movie
How you feel about the recent election result is a function of whether or not you have experienced trauma. The rhetoric powering the platform of the “winning” candidate was all about FEAR – fear of the...
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The #1 Reason Couples Stop Having Sex
If only us sensual souls weren’t stuck in these pesky human bodies with their stressful jobs, money issues and children aka Ultimate Cockblockers, we might all be fornicatin’ right now instead of...
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Do You Have A Bad Picker?
Tell me if you know this girl: she struggles to maintain a relationship with one asshole after another. She admits to you, either at the time or belatedly, that he is/was treating her badly, then sighs...
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10 Things Most People Get Wrong About BDSM
Many people have found solace, fulfillment (sexual and otherwise) and even spiritual healing in practicing any or all aspects of the acronym- Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/submission, Sadism/masochism....
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The Single Worst Piece Of Dating Advice
Some time ago, I went to a singer friend’s show that ended in an impromptu date with another audience member. I’m not even sure how these things happen to me but they do, often; somewhere between...
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Who’s Your Daddy?
The fetish of calling a sexual partner “Daddy” has become so common in both porn and comedy, that the whole “Who’s your daddy?” oeuvre is (almost) played out. But calling someone Daddy or Mommy, and...
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“Does My Bisexual Fantasy Mean I’m Gay?”
Hi Susanna, I have a bisexual fantasy that really turns me on, but my girlfriend thinks I must be gay. I try to explain to her that it is just a fantasy and I don’t want to actually do it. Please give...
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A Little Ecstasy On Valentine’s Day (Tantriss Umie Review)
My original title for this piece was “Diddle Your Partner With The Tantriss Umie…” but somehow this seemed to trivialize the joy I experienced from using this device. Like a great relationship, it...
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When Some Bitch Done Fucked You Over
On this International Women’s Day, I need to come clean with the fact that sometimes we bitches are not too good at showing up for each other. While we can excel at casseroles and cancer appointments,...
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Being a Mom and Being Sexual is a Radical Act
I used to love the word MILF. I blogged about being a Mom I’d Like to Fuck. It wasn’t important if men deemed us “fuckable,” but that we were engaged in a love affair with ourselves. I had a podcast...
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A Not-So-Happy Father’s Day
From early in the morning, tributes started posting on social media, for fathers ranging from alive to not. “Thanks for being such a great dad.” “Missing you today, dad, wish you were here.” Or the...
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Shacking Up Without Cracking Up
After my marriage, I assumed I would never live with anyone again and I was fine with that. As long as I was having sex regularly and often, it mattered not to me. I’m nothing if not Fuck Motivated. So...
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